After conversations with a few friends and family about hair, I decided to write about the topic that seems to come up quite often. Being afraid and or ashamed to wear natural hair. Y’all!!! Why are we (as in kinky, coily, curly hair women) “Black women” so afraid/ashamed to wear our hair in its natural state? Now if it’s preference and not out of those 2 things you do you 🤷🏽‍♀️ but I’ve talked with friends, family, and ladies that have stopped to ask about my hair and they usually say “ Girl, I wish I could wear my hair natural… I can’t do it.” …I might also hear “Girrrlllll, I don’t even know what to do with my hair if I don’t get a relaxer.” Or, “I’m scared to go natural, what if I don’t like how mine looks.” Or even “Girl I’ll look a hot mess!” And when I hear those comments I read into it as “if other people overall thought my type of hair was ok I would wear mine natural”….and to them my response is usually…. “Girl! Yes you can!You can go natural!”

Now if I’m being honest, that’s what I thought for a while when I first started seeing women wearing their natural hair. It’s probably what a lot of other people that went natural thought before they did it too. But it has been a great experience. I have learned so much about my hair. It is versatile, beautiful, and magical BUT that does not mean it is an easy undertaking. News flash…natural hair is just as much of a job as relaxed hair… if not more since we’re still learning about it 👀. The only difference in the two, in my opinion, is that since relaxers have been around longer we know more about it! “Natural” is new to most of us and we’re still working through a few kinks.

Now of course it’s not new to those that chose natural hair in the 60’s.I’m referring to those of us that got on board with natural hair in the 2000’s and made it the huge movement that is still is today. In retail stores black hair products have increased from a few shelves in a small area to entire aisles of products for brand collections that are dedicated to natural hair care. More of us are all learning how to properly care for our hair in its natural state and just like anything else that is “new” or hardly explored, it can be scary and intimidating. But why are some of us still ashamed and or afraid to wear our beautiful, natural hair. To be honest I think it has been passed down from the generation to generation. Just think…having to endure enslavement, in a completely unfamiliar place forced to work… you’re not to keep up your appearance and look beautiful…you need to work! Having to wrap the hair up so that it’s put away while working or having it cut off of your head because your owner wanted to. All of that trauma was passed down and has just evolved among each generation. I haven’t fully researched this but I’m quite sure hair was very important to our African ancestors just from looking at statues and pictures of artifacts and how they made sure to show the hair and its details. European beauty standards being used as a rites of passage to being treated “ better” and accepted has completely altered how women of African descent view their hair and take care of their hair.

Our ancestors brought seeds to plant food in their hair, they braided maps in their hair to help guide them on journeys, and I’m quite sure other things. The hair was and still is important to us even if we were not able to have our traditions from African ancestors passed down to us. I can only imagine the difference in the acceptance and undeniable love we would have for our kinky, coily hair had we never been conditioned to think something was wrong with it. We’ve spent so much time trying to alter it that we’ve neglected the beauty in our difference. The influence of European beauty standards is still so strong that we have also failed to love and learn as much about our natural Afro hair, until now, which could be why some are afraid and ashamed to wear it. If you didn’t feel you would be looked at, that your boss might write you up, that family might talk about you, or anything you can come up with…. What would hold you back from wearing your hair how God gave it to you? I personally wore my hair straightened for so long and others did not understand what I had to do to get it that way. ALOT! I’m quite sure I have at least one small slick spot in my head right now from a relaxer chemical burn 😩 So of course others with hair that’s not curly/coily/kinky don’t understand our hair and why we’re tired of not being accepted unless we alter it to look like theirs🤷🏽‍♀️. What’s crazy is we’ve gotten so settled and ok with it that it can be considered unprofessional in some workplaces.

Luckily we’re working on that though. Throughout the US they’ve started pushing the Crown Act. The Crown Act is legislation that is being passed throughout the US that stands for Creating a Respectful and Open World for Natural hair. It has passed in several states but still has more to go! If you would like to learn more about this law, who it was created by, and where it has been passed or want to know if it has been passed in your state go check the website out at http://www.theCrownAct.com. You can help pass this law in your state as well by signing the petition on their website and holding your representatives accountable… they represent us so get them on this! Now go to http://www.TheCrownAct.com to learn more about this law that will help end hair discrimination.

Now back to our convo. Having to deal with so many factors around your hair can flat out be a lot to any one wanting to transition over. Just remember though, if it’s something worth doing, the challenges are going to come with it…and you can apply that to anything 🤷🏽‍♀️. So if you’re considering going natural just know you can ease into it. It doesn’t have to be a rip the bandaid off type of situation…if you don’t want it to be that is👀. You can slowly transition into natural hair and go at a pace that helps you gradually adjust. Not saying that you still won’t feel awkward, unsure, or whatever you feel…but just know that you are beautiful, magical, and others have gone through the process too.

Things you can you do to help through the process are:

1. get in a natural hair community group on social media,

2. follow natural hair enthusiasts on social media for inspiration

3. talk with any friends that have gone natural,

4. get on Pinterest and look at styles,

5. touch your hair to feel the difference and track your progress

6. last but not least love it!

One other thing I try to do is make a constant effort to tell my babies that their hair is beautiful and that others with textures different from theirs is beautiful too. Oh please remember… everyone has different curls. Yours might be big ringlets or someone else might have tight and coily. We can still be different within this natural hair thing but difference is beautiful! The tight and coily curls are just as beautiful as the loose spiral curls. Never think you have to have big soft natural ring curls in order to be beautiful. You rock what you were blessed with and you love every minute of it! 💜